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With an infant, crying is not an indication of
a misbehaving child and having a crying baby on a plane does NOT mean
that you are a bad parent. Crying is merely a baby’s only form of
communicating its basic needs. Parents then have the
sometimes-difficult task of interpreting the need that the baby is
desperately trying to communicate. It is unfortunate when other
passengers nearby do not have the capacity to understand and tolerate
cries from infants since it is not always easy to calm a crying infant,
especially if stomach discomfort is the cause or if the baby is tired
and cannot fall asleep.
If you expect an older infant or a toddler
to behave well on an airplane, it is critically important to have
established an effective and predictable structure around discipline for
the child. This becomes most effective after a child reaches 18
months old
or older. You cannot expect to take an undisciplined child, place him
on an airplane and have him behave well and cope with the difficulties
of a long trip.
Airplane trips are difficult for even the
most disciplined and well-behaved infant or toddler. It is also much
more difficult for parents to apply discipline in an airplane setting.
For example, you cannot send a child to time out effectively. There is
no bedroom for you to send your child for calming down. There are few
privileges or personal possessions to withhold when confined to a small
space on an airplane.
For these reasons, parents should have well
established and predictable methods of discipline in place before air
flight. Discipline is something that is not pleasant for parents or
children but is an essential part of the relationship. It would be
great if children would behave properly and safely with only positive
reinforcement of good behaviors. While it is true that positive
reinforcement of good behaviors can have a wonderful effect toward
influencing good behaviors in some children, it is not enough and
disciplinary consequences should be a part of every parent’s routine.
Every child is different. You cannot assume
that any one form of discipline will have a positive effect on behavior
for every child. It is up to parents to bond with their children and
learn what works and does not work for their particular child. There
are some common factors though:
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Be consistent in applying discipline
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Be fair in deciding when discipline
should be applied.
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Be specific and address behavior in the
moment. Address misbehavior immediately and when it is occurring.
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If you provide a warning, communicate
the consequence or form of discipline that will result if the child
does not change his behavior.
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Use a firm and steady tone. Do not
shout.
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Avoid giving second or third chances
since that practice establishes a pattern in which a child begins to
understand that there is no consequence for ignoring a first
warning.
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ALWAYS FOLLOW THROUGH with previously
communicated consequences if the child does not modify behavior
after a warning.
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After discipline is over, hug your child
and reinforce correct behaviors by explaining in a loving tone what
the child did wrong that led to disciplinary action. If the child
is old enough to speak, it works well at this point to ask the child
to explain to you what he did wrong. Then, you can correct the
child if he does not properly understand the reason for punishment.
It will not be easy to apply discipline on a
plane. Having strong discipline established in advance is a great
start, since you might then expect fewer instances when discipline is
necessary.
Use your imagination. Some ideas for
consequences on a plane might include:
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Withholding snacks or toys
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Placing a favorite toy in “time out”
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Not getting to watch a movie that might
be available
Any time you must use disciplinary action on
a plane you might expect that your child will protest. This can result
in a noisy scene. It is unfortunate that other passengers will have to
endure those events. However, it is a necessary course of events in
order for you to mold your child’s behavior and teach him what is
appropriate in social situations. Over time you can work on teaching your
child that is not okay to protest punishment…good luck with that one at
ages 1 to 4.
When you are disciplining your child, if
other passengers interpret crying or screaming as an indication that you
are a bad parent, they are wrong. You are a great parent for taking
initiative to teach your child right from wrong. Children are members
of society. You may have heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a
child.” If you are on public transport, everyone around you is a
willing member of that village. Private transport is an alternative
open to any air traveler with means that does not wish to intermingle in
society. Compassion and understanding is an appropriate reaction from
fellow passengers and you should not feel embarrassed during those
unfortunate times when you draw attention. In most cases noise
resulting from a child protesting discipline is short-lived anyway.
It may also serve you well to establish
behavior expectations and then offer rewards. Based on your knowledge
of your children and behaviors that they are likely to exhibit during a
flight, you may be able to address those issues in advance and offer
incentives to prevent misbehavior. This can sometime prevent or reduce
the frequency of situations that result in the need for disciplinary
consequences. If this works with your child, you may be able to achieve
good behavior results with less noise and disruption for other
passengers. Ideas of rewards could be:
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Getting a new toy that was packed for
the flight
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Getting snacks
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Getting to watch a movie or show
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Getting to take a walk around the plane
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Reading a story
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…Or anything else that you think might
motivate your particular child.
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to make organizing your family's passports a little easier to
manage during times when you need to quickly present your
documentation. 
